And then there were Four

It's been ten weeks since you came into the world little one.  I cannot tell you what joy you bring into my life.  Every day I tell your daddy how lovely I think you are.  You have made that tiring pregnancy seem like a distant memory.  I must tell you a little about it though, just so you can have some empathy one day when perhaps your wife is feeling the aches, pains and exhaustion from being pregnant.

The sickness with you was not so bad.  I had good days, bad days and the odd revolting day.  This time around it was more the tiredness and then later, the sciatic pain which made it hard to walk some days.  Even this wasn't consistent though.  Some days you were positioned just so that I was fine to get out and about.  Other days you must have been sitting right on a nerve. 

Each pregnancy has been different.  This pregnancy I felt extreme guilt.  Guilt that I didn't have the energy to push Tori on the swing at the park.  Guilt that I really didn't feel like having Nyah's friend come over for a play date.  Guilt that I just didn't feel like getting out and about when I knew it was exactly what your brother and sisters needed, it being summer and the lack of space we have in our yard. 

When your father and I first got engaged to be married, we made some plans together.  We talked about the things we wanted to do, places we might like to go and how many children we would like to have.  Your father suggested we have eight children.  I always wanted a big family, but eight was not a number I even considered.  I liked the idea of having four, but felt that we would just take it one at a time and see what Heavenly Father had in store for us.

I had a funny feeling after your sister Tori was born.  It was not a feeling of contentment.  I looked into her eyes and I loved her with my whole heart, but I really felt like there was another little spirit, waiting to join our family and that we mustn't delay their arrival. 

It was during the final few weeks of my pregnancy with you Amon, that I was laying on the couch feeling miserable.  I had probably downed  four cups of raspberry leaf tea (recommended to bring on labour), had a session of acupuncture that morning, been rubbing my pressure points (recommended to induce labour) been sniffing the Clary Sage oil (also recommended to induce labour) and been bouncing up and down on the fit ball (another method for bringing on labour).  Honey, I tried everything. While I was thus laying on the couch in misery, I looked at your siblings - especially Nyah - and thought how unfair this was on them.  It was a beautiful day outside and they were sitting watching the television.  I thought about how Nyah, has been through three of my pregnancies (all of which haven't been easy) and that it would be extremely selfish of me to continue this pattern.  It was time for us to enjoy the children we have been blessed with and for those children to have a mother who was well, happy and present.  I explained this to your daddy and we feel really good with our decision.  We will not close the doors to more little Stancombes in the future if that's what is meant to be, but for now, we desire to love and cherish the little ones we have right now.

The day you were born dad had started his paternity leave. He started early because I was having difficulty looking after your siblings being unable to walk much.  I had acupuncture in the morning and a nice hot Indian curry for lunch.  I was determined to get you out.  At around 6pm that evening I started to feel a few small contractions.  I'd felt these off and on in the weeks leading up to your birth.  Some had gotten quite strong and fairly close together, getting me all excited and ready for your birth.  This night I was getting excited.  Hopeful more than anything as you were two days overdue.  We out your brother and sisters to bed and by 8:30pm things were feeling like they were happening.  We called a friend of ours to come by so that daddy could get me to the hospital.  We arrived at the hospital at around 9:15pm.  By that time the contractions were very strong and fairly close together.  They just weren't lasting too long.  I felt you were on your way though and I just wanted it all to hurry up.  I was a little bit scared about your birth.  Your sister Tori was not positioned the best way and birthing her was very painful on my lower back.  Given that I had terrible sciatic pain during my pregnancy with you, I anticipated a very painful labour.  That scared me.  I quietly discussed with your daddy my desire to have an epidural to take away the pain.  He talked me out of it, assuring me that I would be fine and that I was stronger than I thought.  That was fine coming from a man Amon.  You son, will never know what it is like to give birth.  It is assuredly no walk in the park, but it is none the less a wonderful blessing.  Anyhow, the midwife (who was extremely giddy) suggested I have a water birth.  It's funny because I had viewed giving birth in a bath as a bit unconventional.  Perhaps a bit hippy-ish. But, having seen a water birth on television a few days prior, it intrigued me and I thought that I could give it a try and if it didn't suit, I'd just get out of the bath.  Amon, it was fantastic!  It was still ouchy but it gave me so much relief on my lower back.  Your dad got let off easy this time too.  Previous labours he has had to massage my back, applying a lot of pressure using his thumbs.  The poor darling's thumbs had gotten so sore in the process (tough I know). This time, all daddy had to do was keep the hot water spraying over my back from the shower head. It was such a relief.

Levi is so happy to have a brother

My waters broke, I felt the urge to push.  I did one big push and your head came out.  Then your little body slid out after.  All this within five minutes.  I cannot describe how it felt to see you for the first time. And to have you free.

You are now smiling, talking and even giggling.  You feed really well and sleep so wonderfully at night.  We don't have to rock you to sleep.  You just know that when daddy wraps you tight, it's time to go nigh-nighs.  You are such an angel baby.  When I am feeding in front of the television at night, I glance down to see why you have stopped sucking.  I find you looking up at me with a beautiful big smile and once we've made that connection, you go back to feeding.  I shower you with kisses.  You're too little to squeeze tight for a big hug so I hold you with your chest to mine and snuggle my nose into your neck.  I cannot tell you how many times I've kissed those growing cheeks of yours.  You are growing so fast, I'm really starting to feel like I am losing my baby.  It's at these times I realise that you may very well be the last of my babies and how quickly the time just gets away on us. Will I feel those pangs again once you have grown?

 

Amon James. It took us months to give you that name.  Your father and I are quite particular.  It had to be strong, have a nice meaning behind it, couldn't be shortened, plain, weird, girly or lengthy.  We considered Ezra for a while.  I love the meaning of Ezra and Ezra Taft Benson was also the prophet of my childhood.  He left behind a pretty good legacy and some wonderful quotes that daddy and I find often in our reading.  Still, dad couldn't shake the fact that a woman at his work was called Esra and he didn't want a name that was girly.  I also really liked Eden, but daddy said that was too girly also.  Daddy really liked Jesse but we already have a Jess in our family so I wasn't keen for another. 

Daddy has a friend called Eamon.  I've always liked the name but didn't really throw it in for consideration because of daddy's friend.  I thought he'd for sure toss it in the trash straight away.  I suggested it one day and daddy gave it some thought.  One thing that didn't excite me about the name Eamon was its meaning - protector of wealth.  I thought with daddy being a banker, it might seem like he's a bit money hungry.  It might have suited just nicely given that your dad is rather tight.  I looked for alternative spellings of Eamon when I came across 'Amon'. 

It is pronounced 'Ah-mun'.  Amun was an Egyptian god and the meaning is: 'true and faithful'. It is believed that the name of King Amon in the bible derived from this Egyptian god.  King Amon was a wicked man who followed after his father, Manasseh.  Manasseh worshipped graven images and false gods.  Manasseh, in later life had a change of heart.  He desired to do that which was right in the sight of God.  It's a shame he didn't have a positive influence over his son Amon as your father will have on you.  You are very blessed to have a daddy like you do.

 

You have been given a name which means 'true and faithful'.  It is our prayer that you always remain a true and faithful member of our family and more importantly, to you heavenly father.  I promise if you do, you will find happiness that has no end.

I love you my precious boy.

 

ps: This posting was written when you were ten weeks old.  It has been sitting in my drafts all this time.