The Joys of the Toddler Years

I'm going to be brutally honest. Krissy Stancombe doesn't do two year olds very well. I had no idea what hit me when Nyah reached that difficult age. I just wasn't prepared for the sassiness and tantrums that Nyah exhibited. I remember in my early teens my mother saying "I hope you have one just like you".  Mum got her wish, the lord blessed me with two just like me.

Tori is now reaching that beloved stage of sassiness and defiance.  She seems to find delight in testing the boundaries and Levi being almost three, just seems to push all my buttons. I write this as I watch the two strong personalities play collaboratively with Levi's trains. Almost as though my writing about the often clash of personalities in my home is a fallacy.

When Nyah was two I seriously wondered if there was something wrong with her.  Had I not breast fed her enough? Was it the soft serve ice cream and soft cheeses I ate during her pregnancy? Could it have been the 5 weeks I had her in daycare whilst I did my Professional School Experience? Could those 5 weeks have traumatised her?

Jim would get frustrated with the fact that I thought Nyah needed testing. He promised me that all Nyah's characteristics - although challenging at the time - would one day prove to be a blessing.

I often get comments from more senior parents who say "your children are so beautiful".  I politely tell them 'thank you'.  Often I get the comment "enjoy them while they're this age". I think, 'have these people forgotten what this age is like? Are they just recalling bedtime and that beautiful moment when all is quiet and the children truly look beautiful and peaceful?'.  Because honestly, this toddler thing is serious business that requires a heck of a lot of love and extreme patience. I lack patience. I thought I had plenty of love but I've had to reevaluate since I rediscovered the scripture 'love is patient, love is kind' (of which I have a little plaque with this very phrase displayed in prime position in my home).

Tori getting into the pantry
and upending a packet of
spaghetti.  What a darling.

All three of our children exhibit extreme persisitence and independence. Mothers would realise how frustrating this can be when you are trying to get dinner prepared and there is your beautiful toddler, tugging on your legs or when you are on the phone, suddenly Peppa Pig has finished and the next little program doesn't quite offer the same satisfaction.  'There is that window of opportunity where mum is engaged in adult conversation and if I just persist long enough, I can have that cookie at the top of the pantry, that I just can't reach on my own even when I have the kiddy chair stacked on top on the dining chair'.

The other day I asked Jim to tell me when I am going to see this characteristic of persistence as a blessing. Well This morning I got a glimpse.

Yesterday was Nyah's last day of term three at kinder. She brought home a lovely binder that her teachers had put together over the year. Inside contained things she had been doing throughout the year. The teachers had spent a lot of time personalising it through journal entries. One teacher shared an experience of when Nyah had been playing in the playground. Nyah wanted to hang from a bar and swing on it. Nyah was not quite tall enough to teach it on her own. Her teacher explained that Nyah was determined to swing from that bar and came up with a plan all on her own. She began scooping up the tanbark and putting it into a small pile beneath the bar.  Then she would stand on her pile to see if she could reach the bar. Realising she still wasn't high enough, she gathered more tanbark and continued this process until she had accomplished what she set out to do.

As I read this, tears filled my eyes.  It may had been because I am pregnant and hormonal however a
light seemed to go on in me and the words of my loving and very patient husband went through my
mind - "these are characteristics that will be a blessing one day".

Nyah's teacher went on to record "what looks like a simple episode of outdoor play is actually a
pretty big deal. This is competence and resilience in action. Nyah faced a challenge and instead of
asking for help, she assessed the problem and acted by developing a plan and adapting it to the
situation as it unfolded. There is so much happening here - persistence; creative thinking; carrying 
out a plan; taking risks; feeling successful; and being independent.  These are skills that will stand Nyah in good stead when she makes the transition to school, and indeed throughout her life". 

So today when I have cause to shake my fist at the heavens and say "why me" when I am faced with these challenging behaviours in my two toddlers, I will remember how good it felt to read about Nyah's experience at school and the way in which she overcame an obstacle.

Upon reflection, I have realised that these senior parents I meet are so right when they say "they're not little for long". Nyah's toddler stage went by so quickly. I need to focus on the delightful moments I have during these toddler years (the ones other than nap time and bed time). These include: the kisses and cuddles I get, the fun times we have at the park, pool and the beach, Levi assessing all family wounds and allocating a band aid when necessary, the way Tori and Levi sit so reverently for the first ten seconds of family prayers, the moments I look out to the courtyard and see my posterity learning and developing together through play and exploration. There are so many more of these sweet moments that do make having little ones a joy.  

Perhaps, just maybe, There is a whole lot more to toddlers than what they are famous for.