There's a Brain Underneath the Hair and a Heart Underneath the Boobs - Dolly Parton

The first time parents

I really loved the three years Jim and I have together before we became parents.  I feel we had adequate time to get to know each other and that we were prepared to embark on this thing called parenthood.  In December of 2007 I became a mother.  Once you have the title of mother pronounced upon you that is it.  There is no turning back.

The name Nyah was chosen after I watched the movie “Mission Impossible 2”.  Nyah was the name of the character played by the beautiful Thandie Newton.  I had always liked the name Mia but got a little turned off by the fact that Lleyton and Bec Hewitt named their daughter, Mia (Lleyton being an Australian tennis player and Bec, formerly Rebecca Cartwright whose claim to fame is/was the Australian TV series, Home and Away).  I was not a fan of Lleyton Hewitt at the time.  The name Nyah was just that little bit different without being too weird.  I was nineteen when I chose that name for a daughter I might never have.  It was years later that I discovered its origins.  It is Swahili and its meaning is ‘purpose’.  Given that our belief is that all are born into this world with a purpose, I like its meaning.  When you also know how planned this conception was, given that Nyah’s father is an extremely planned out and organised person, it gives more meaning.  It was Jim who had all the weeks and months mapped out of when we could start trying to conceive.  It needed to fit in with my university, his university and where we were living among other things.  I’m quite a spontaneous person and I don’t always think things through so for me, Jim is my reason, my calm in the storm and oft times my rock. 

March 2007 was, according to Jim, the most practical and fitting time to start trying for a baby.  Well, Nyah was conceived somewhere around the first week in March and arrived on her due date, the 1^st of December.  I actually went into labour at 12:15 on her due date.  It was a Saturday so Jim need not take an unexpected day off work (not that this would have been an issue, I just say it to illustrate how perfect the timing was to the very moment).  It was all very convenient.  So much so that a good friend of Jim’s jokingly said “you couldn’t have planned that any better”.  Jim also has issues with tardiness.  You can NEVER be late.  You can presume that Nyah got off on the right foot with her daddy from the very beginning.

Nyah was born after I completed my second year of university.  I attribute much of her brightness today not only as an inheritance from her father but also due to the amount of lectures she sat in during my pregnancy.  We know that there is great evidence suggesting that it is beneficial to speak to, read to and play classical music to your child whilst in the womb.  I believe that having them attend university in utero is also beneficial.  It might well explain why Nyah has the gift of the gab.  Second year had a lot to do with Language, Grammar and that dreaded subject titled Schools, Values and Reasoning.  A friend of mine whilst pregnant with her second child studied voice and amongst all her siblings, that child is the one with a stand out singing 

voice.

Nyah practising her nursing skills

I'm going to put it out there. Breastfeeding Nyah for the first two weeks was a nightmare.  I thought it was all going to be natural and beautiful, but for me it was terrible.  I was terrible.  It was toe-curling stuff.  Labour was a walk in the park compared to breastfeeding.  Finally, after a bit of blood, cracked nipples and a lot of tears, I learnt how to master the art of attachment and it became something I really enjoy.  So much so that I must confess today my 14 month old is still on the boob.  Neither one of us are about to give it up any time soon.
As a nursing mother, I find that whole skin on skin contact to be so beautiful.  It’s not all lovely.  I am sacrificing a little you know.  With each breastfeeding child, the little once plump little pillows get saggier.  It is just so worth it for that bonding.  I can have a day where I am just about ready to put all three of my children on eBay and then little Tori will tug at my leg, make the motion with her hands that she wants a cuddle, pull my top down a little, stick her little hand between my breasts and say “ooh ooh” (signalling to me what time it is), and that contact is really sweet.  That closeness and the gentle stroking I receive is not only a comfort for my little one but relaxation for me.

I love that part of motherhood and it's all over so quickly too.  Perhaps too it is something I feel I am in control of.  I fell needed.  Obviously there are women who legitimately can’t nurse their children or it’s not ideal due to varying personal or family circumstances.  Try as I may I just can’t understand why women would avoid it.  I’m sure there are people in this world who can’t understand why I have watched Days of Our Lives on and off since I first drew breath (thanks for that mum), just as I can’t understand why people would stand at a train station and drink coke and smoke a cigarette at seven in the morning (at all for that matter but in the morning more so - yuck).  I guess when you love something so much sometimes you can’t understand why others don’t.  When each of our children have reached the age of six months I have been able to look at their growth, with a heart full of thanksgiving that my body has been able to produce and provide them with nourishment, the sole nourishment for that growth to occur. Seriously, boobs and milk production, supply and demand and how it changes based on the needs of your baby are out of this world amazing.

So whether we like breastfeeding, don't, can't or won't I think Dolly Parton of all people has pointed this out to all women without mincing her words, "underneath those boobs is a heart".  Ah, the heart.  A willing heart and a loving heart.  Is that not the essence of true motherhood?